Thursday, May 19, 2011

Wings: The Ultimate Man Food



Is there a manlier food than some crispy chicken wings doused in either buffalo or honey barbeque sauce? Think about it for a second: has there ever been a real man in the history of the world that hasn’t absolutely loved the experience of eating these delicious wings? Unless you’re a vegetarian (which no real man is), there’s no excuse to not get real freaky naughty up in those delectable flavors. But the real question here is why? Why do real men love wings so much? At Man Hub, we believe the answer is an evolutionary one.

Since the cave man era, men have been responsible for hunting food, bringing it back to their tee pee or whatever the fuck they lived in back in the day, waiting for their woman to cook it, and then going to town on the meat like there was no tomorrow. Literally, men ate meat as if it could possibly be there last meal ever. There were no guarantees that they would ever be able to catch another squirrel or rabbit or woolly fucking mammoth, and that they could possibly starve to death after that meal. There was no time to fuck around. They just took the meat, straight from the bone, and chomped down on it. No utensils, no plates, no condiments…nothing.

Now think about the way in which we eat wings…do you have a clear visual in your head yet? If it’s anything even remotely close to the picture in my head, then you’re imagining some slightly overweight dude, nose deep in a plate of hot wings, plucking the meat off the bone, with his entire face covered in buffalo sauce. It almost seems like savagery, just like how our ancient ice age ancestors did it. The process of eating wings is quite literally, how a real life cave man would want us to do it. It is ingrained in our brains to devour wings like a savage, like there is no next meal. So next time you are chowing down on 25 cent wings at your local pub, think about how proud the cave men are that us men are carrying on their timeless tradition.

No comments: